You can do everything with dialogue: let your
characters tell the story
By John Jenkins
Exercise:
If you find it difficult,
write a one act play. That’s all dialogue. Strip out the banal. One page equals
1 minute – hence 15 pages for a one act play.
He said…she said…the
judge expostulated…the inspector explained…the headmaster thundered…the boy
snivelled…
One of the most common
problems for some writers is dialogue. For some reason the element that most
established writers handle with an assured touch proves difficult. It is
essential that you get it right in a story. A book without dialogue is almost
certain to be dull. Not the least of reasons is the one put forward by Alice:
“What is the use of a book without conversation?”
The girl had a point.
The conversation has got to be convincing. How do you know when you get it
right? Listen to Elmore Leonard: “All the information you need can be given
in dialogue.”
Indeed it can and it can also save you from the boring “telling” rather than
“showing” the reader what is happening. I am all for recording your story and
playing it back. Does it sound natural? Are you convinced? Is the language used
right for the characters involved?
But dialogue in a story is not just a transcription of everyday talk, which is
full of ums and ahs, repetition, hesitation, unfinished sentences, gestures
which fill in gaps and gradations of inflexion which give entirely different
meanings to the same word.
Good dialogue should:
Move the story along
Flesh out character
Define location with dialect
Heighten tension
Create mystery
Inform the reader
Govern the pace of a story
It’s asking a lot but good dialogue can do all this for you if handled properly.
Just think of all those wonderful characters you remember from stories you have
enjoyed:
Mrs Malaprop… Sam Weller… Henry V… Dirty Harry… the Scarlet Pimpernel… Sherlock
Holmes… the Godfather.
Every character is made memorable by the words put into their mouths.
Take care when watching movies for dialogue hints: Avoid the following:
OK! Let’s get outta here.
I’ve never told anybody this before…
Quick. Check the gyroscope/ fuel tanks/ parachutes/ horses/ escape hatch etc.
And that good old standby in any submarine film: Dive… dive… dive!
You need a good ear to pick up dialogue but on no account should you think of
yourself as a super shorthand typist transcribing a perfect note of what you
hear.
Imagine a couple looking around a house they intend to buy. A new start to save
a marriage on the rocks. They traipse from room to room. The woman, filling in
awkward silences, and the man saying nothing until she says she doesn’t like the
curtains.
We’re here to buy the fucking house not the furniture.
That one savage phrase
tells you much of what you need to know about the characters involved and it
introduces the thought that it is going to take more than a move and a fresh
neighbourhood to rescue that partnership.
Now take this piece of accurate
dialogue:
Morning Bill, said a cheery voice on the telephone.
How goes it? Off to work?
Yes, Dorothy, just leaving.
Another day on the treadmill. What’s with you?
You can almost feel the yawns coming on.
Contrast it with this:
Hey Jim, wanna see something funny?
I’ve just tipped half a glass of Bacardi into Barbara’s coke. That should liven
up the party…
Susan, she’s been on the wagon for a year. This’ll push her backwards. I am
going to stop her.
You do, Jim and I tell your wife about you and Julia at the sales conference in
Monaco last year.
Now that tells you
something about three characters. One is a reformed alcoholic. One is a
philanderer and the other is a blackmailer and bitch. Not once have you had to
use he said, she said.
That’s one of the tests of dialogue.
Keep the attributions to a minimum in your story. It should be clear who is
speaking without continual use of he said, she said.
Finally, regional dialects can be a trap. Nothing is worse than trying to read
something in Mummerset, cockney, scouse or Glaswegian. As in cooking, a pinch
of spice can go a long way and a handful ruins the dish. Far better to use a
regional phrase to do the job.
John Jenkins' June column dealt with
charging for news websites.
